Monday, March 22, 2021

Chicken Little

Something is coming, and I can feel it. 

Grandpa Joe is clear that the covid is worse than all the wars. Corpses everywhere. It is a bloodbath. 

Grandpa Joe takes care of us and sends us checks. 

Corporate America cares about us and requires masks. The disease-bags at Chick-Fil-A cannot infect me with their covid because they wear masks, even outdoors, JIC. 

The stock market is a perpetual bubble that will not pop. 

But I feel something coming. Bone-deep.

Thursday, March 11, 2021

Boomer Cleaner

Explain to me this: Why has the year been an over-reaction to everything?

Examples: Covid. This time last year, I understand erring on the side of caution. We'd just seen viral footage of the Chinese stocking their morgues and these huge tanker-trucks hosing down the streets with some kind of vapor, and surely it looked like the zombie apocalypse had been made real. Hunker down. So while surely it seemed like the Chad-level alpha-male pandemic had its massive pythons trained on us and ready to choke hold, when it turned out that this pandemic's might was thoroughly soy-boy beta and it killed almost nobody, the course never changed. It was all a run-away train of fear and five-alarm. In other words, when the CDC's data started to emerge in May that this thing wasn't a bleeding-out-your-ass-and-eyeballs apocalypse, why did we continue to pretend it was? I have no answer other than my theory that covid is boomer cleaner. 

The boomers, who have all the money, and who are knocking on death's door, snowballing every year as mother nature clears them out, have the death-fear. They never made their peace with their mortality, I suppose, too busy boomering everthing and staring at Fox News and CNN (watching real-time case numbers tick up, ever up, knowing that every time a bell rings no Angels are getting jack-shit). They believed everything. They believed it all. And they still, still as of this writing, have not had their come-to-Jesus moment in which they understand life is in fact short. Boomer fear meant schools had to close, and everyone has to wear a face mask talisman to ward off the evil, and plexiglass dividers must be thrown up in every space that can house them. Online school is just as good as the real thing! 

Except, we've learned it isn't even close to as good as the real thing, but fuck that! We need to preserve the boomers for at least five more years, and if that generates a full generation of Zoomer germophobes, small price to pay. 

Can all of it be explained simply by the insulin-addled and reality-denying dementia of the Boomers?

Monday, March 8, 2021

On the Nature of Filtration

I want to believe in masks, as in, not as prescientific talismans to ward off the invisible spirits intent on doing me in, as in, not as political symbols which declare me in one tribe or another, but as a reality altering device that really does filter out the airborne virus that will surely make me get sick. 

My problem is filtration, or at least my understanding when it comes to how filtration works. I made coffee this morning. The filtering medium that works with my drip coffee maker is made of paper, the fibers of which are sufficient to block the passage of coffee grounds but allow the molecules of the water to pass through. I also have a water filter that I take on hiking trips, and I was careful to buy one that was based on a medium that could block the microscopic bacteria that I don't want to drink. When I bought it I paid attention to microns.

Given my understanding that the thing being filtered must be larger than the filtration medium, I find myself having thoughts like this: Masks used to filter viruses out of the air is the single most-retarded phenomenon I've ever witnessed as a walking human being on planet Earth.  Masks are far, far more retarded than monster trucks or fidget spinners.

Surely, I'm missing something, and I just want to understand what it is. I want to believe in masks, but I just need someone to explain it to me so that I can understand. How can a mask filter out airborne viruses when the filtration medium is so much larger than the thing being filtered?

The Covid Rules