Thursday, March 11, 2021

Boomer Cleaner

Explain to me this: Why has the year been an over-reaction to everything?

Examples: Covid. This time last year, I understand erring on the side of caution. We'd just seen viral footage of the Chinese stocking their morgues and these huge tanker-trucks hosing down the streets with some kind of vapor, and surely it looked like the zombie apocalypse had been made real. Hunker down. So while surely it seemed like the Chad-level alpha-male pandemic had its massive pythons trained on us and ready to choke hold, when it turned out that this pandemic's might was thoroughly soy-boy beta and it killed almost nobody, the course never changed. It was all a run-away train of fear and five-alarm. In other words, when the CDC's data started to emerge in May that this thing wasn't a bleeding-out-your-ass-and-eyeballs apocalypse, why did we continue to pretend it was? I have no answer other than my theory that covid is boomer cleaner. 

The boomers, who have all the money, and who are knocking on death's door, snowballing every year as mother nature clears them out, have the death-fear. They never made their peace with their mortality, I suppose, too busy boomering everthing and staring at Fox News and CNN (watching real-time case numbers tick up, ever up, knowing that every time a bell rings no Angels are getting jack-shit). They believed everything. They believed it all. And they still, still as of this writing, have not had their come-to-Jesus moment in which they understand life is in fact short. Boomer fear meant schools had to close, and everyone has to wear a face mask talisman to ward off the evil, and plexiglass dividers must be thrown up in every space that can house them. Online school is just as good as the real thing! 

Except, we've learned it isn't even close to as good as the real thing, but fuck that! We need to preserve the boomers for at least five more years, and if that generates a full generation of Zoomer germophobes, small price to pay. 

Can all of it be explained simply by the insulin-addled and reality-denying dementia of the Boomers?

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The Covid Rules